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Sunday, June 7, 2015

Thoughts in my head #4: Forget about likability

 Happy Sunday everyone. I have been seeing different posts about Chimamanda Adichie's speech at the Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. Here is the part I like the most...
"All over the world, girls are raised to make themselves likeable, to twist themselves into shapes that suit other people.
Please do not twist yourself into shapes to please. Don’t do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you. And the world is such a gloriously multifaceted, diverse place that there are people in the world who will like you, the real you, as you are."
Another one I love is from her acceptance speech for the Girls Write Now award....
"I'd like to say a few things to girls who are writing and telling their stories. I think it's important to tell your story. [...] I think it's important to tell your story truthfully. And I think that's a difficult thing to do; to be truly truthful, because it's only natural to be concerned about offending people or possible consequences. So when I teach a writing workshop in Nigeria every year, what I say to my students, and what I say mostly to the female students, is: forget about likability.
I think that what our society teaches young girls - and I think it's also something that's quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off - is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you're supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable, that you're supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don't quite say, don't be too pushy, because you have to be likable.
And I say that's bullshit.
So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that's going to ruin your story, so forget about likability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse, and multifaceted place that there's somebody who's going to like you; you don't need to twist yourself into shapes."

I really like Chimamanda. We need more brilliant women like her. I am a shy girl. You know someone you'd think is always "cool, calm and collected" lol. Except that is not me sometimes. I hold back so much, even in school.
Little story - We have started clinic duty (Junior clerkship) and during our group discussion the other day I swear I knew the answers to 4 out 5 questions our preceptor asked, but I never answered. I kept thinking, "what if you are wrong?" "you really want everyone to be staring at you?" "what if you sound stupid?"
My problem is more about self doubt than being likeable, but I guess both are related in a way. So for the remaining part of this semester I'll try to answer/ask questions, because you can learn a lot by doing that. Now this doesn't mean I will be Miss ITK (i-too-know/Know it all) during our small group discussion. I just need to make myself more confident and comfortable. Also, it is ok to make mistakes. We live and learn.

P.S- "Forget about likability" doesn't justify being rude or acting anyhow. I really don't think that is the message Chimamanda was trying to pass. There are times we need to be likable, example during a job interview or in my case- in the hospital, I need my patients to like me so they can be cooperative and to get the information I need from them to enable me to arrive at my diagnosis. (we have been talking about history taking..hehe) So yeah, I just wanted to point that out. What do you think?

Have a great week!

Friday, June 5, 2015

Thoughts in my head #3: Trusting God in difficult times

Hi everyone! How have you been? Happy new month!!! So for today's post I just want to talk about trusting God in difficult times. Life has it's ups and downs and we just have to deal with it. I am currently in the not-so-great moments, but I am always looking for ways to dust myself up and keep moving. Just this week alone, there were 3 different occasions I wanted to burst into tears. I am not making this post to say I have mastered everything, Nike is still learning everyday but I wanted to share how I have been able to cheer up and comfort myself.
 
First thing I did was, I got rid of worry.....ok that's a lie. I still worry, but it's not like before. I used to worry TOO damn MUCH!!! Like if there was any title like "the greatest worrier" that would be me. I worried so much that it affected how I ate, some nights I wouldn't sleep and I would just be in a bad mood through out the day. Worry is of the devil you guys.
So how did I deal with it? I started thinking positive, this helped a lot. I stopped overthinking. I am always trying to think of ways to fix a problem but sometimes I can't have all the answers and that's ok. I say to myself  "Nike cannot come and die." Let me share this bible verse
"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today - Matthew 6:27-34 (NLT)"

 Another thing that has helped me is remembering the good things that has happened in the past. Ok so I will open up a little. Getting through med school has been a struggle. From financial troubles to school stress, sometimes I just want to give up but then I remember how I got through the 1st and 2nd year. Those last two years were not easy and I wish I could write stories about how it went but I am so thankful to be in third year. I am half way through, the Lord that did it for me then will do it again. He is the is the same yesterday, today and forever.

"So when exactly will everything be ok?" I ask myself this everytime and I think that's where patience and endurance comes in. I am still working on these two things but your girl keeps getting better and better. I just try to reflect on the wonderful things that has happened before. Let me share another bible verse:
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles comes your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4 (NLT)

Appreciating the little things- I live in a dorm which can be such a hassle sometimes. I share the kitchen and bathroom with some people and seriously some days I just want to scream at someone. Now I am not saying this to say I am better but the situation could be worse. Some people don't even a bed to sleep and I am here wishing I was living in a studio apartment...lool. It's not bad to have good heart desires or want something better but since this is the current situation I am in, I have decided to be happy and enjoy it. I don't share the room with anyone so I just come in and do whatever I want i.e play loud music that'll disturb everyone...lol j/k.
There was a week I would be angry every single day I got home cos everywhere would be in a mess. I got tired of getting mad all the time and I have learned to appreciate what I have.

Lastly, Keep believing and don't stop praying-You have probably seen this quote before "tough times never last, but tough people do". Well, I won't give up. Some days everything doesn't make sense, I don't feel like praying and I even question my faith/Christianity but I have hope everything will be alright.

A song I have been listening to all week since I downloaded the new Hillsong United "Empires" album is "Even when it hurts". The lyrics is beautiful - "Even when my strength is lost, Even when the fight seems lost, Even when it's hard to find the words, Even when it makes no sense to sing, Louder then I'll sing Your praise"
Another favorite from the album is "Here Now"

Selfie queen.
Have a great weekend! xx

Monday, May 18, 2015

Orange & White

Happy monday everyone!!! How was your weekend? I have been worrying too much about so many things, (mainly school related) but at the same time I've been trying to stop over-thinking cos I know it does more harm than good.
Anyway, I wore this to a friend's party while I was on break. I started getting ready early so there was time for pictures. *Yessss*

My favorite picture!!! Shalla to my friend, the photographer..lol



On my lips is a mixture of two lip pencils. A deep purple as a base & red one over it. It looked so pretty and it stayed for a long time even after eating and drinking. Yes I changed my necklace x_x

 Have a great week!!!